Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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