If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
