so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize