my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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