You're completely useless in the revolution.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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