I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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