I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
