and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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