How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
