dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize