Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
