We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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