would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
