Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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