your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
