Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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