Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
