the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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