My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
