you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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