i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
