Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
