better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
