can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
