Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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