My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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