I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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