Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
