Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
