Michael Bay diarrhea
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
