saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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