She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
