I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
