Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
