I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
