so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
