shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
