did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.