Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.