You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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I think pants incapable of making pants work
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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