dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
