and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize