the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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