loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
