you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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