May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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