I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
