your room smells of hookers.
And success
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
