Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
