so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
