its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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