Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize