She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
