wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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