Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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