he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
