I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
