please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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