Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
