You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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