drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
only if we run a train.
done.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
