Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
