You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
